Liam,
Son, Happy 8th Birthday.
It’s been a pretty crazy year and today is no exception. Our house in under a major remodel, it’s rainy outside and we are in the midst of a global pandemic. I would probably be attempting to home school you for 3rd grade this year with you likely teaching me more than the other way around. We wouldn’t be able to have a birthday party this year but what I wouldn’t give to just sit down and eat a piece of cake with you today.
I know if you were here you would be rolling
with all craziness along with us.
We will likely celebrate this weekend when we take the camper out for the first time (and the weather clears up). Your sisters love releasing balloons and singing you Happy Birthday. This year, we might release a lantern for you.
The camper has an awesome set of bunk beds. If you were here, you would totally get top bunk and the girls would share the bottom. I can imagine all the crazy adventures you would have exploring
the outdoors on our camping trips.
It’s kinda fitting that it’s raining today. Most years on your birthday I just want to stay in my sweats and curl up on the couch, wishing I was snuggling you (If you would still let me. I don’t know at what age boys don’t want cuddle their momma anymore). I really want to knee down at your marker, trace your name with my finger
and let the rain pour over me.
Our family is growing in a lot of ways this fall. You have a new cousin, Eli. Uncle Cory is getting married and you are gaining another
Uncle, Kyle (officially). Yet, there will always be someone missing, you!
Always missing from our beautiful and ever growing family pictures and times together but forever remembered, loved and cherished.
Happy Birthday Liam, I miss you precious boy!
Always, Momma
Wednesday, September 9, 2020
Liam's 8th Birthday
Friday, February 28, 2020
Angel birthdays of friends and loved ones
Today a dear friend of mine is celebrating their angel's birthday. After loosing Liam so many people shared stories of their loses and I quickly realized there were so many people I knew that had suffered pregnancy and infant loss that I had no idea about (1 in 4). Since loosing Liam and becoming involved with No Foot Too Small, many people share their loses with me or let me know when friends or family have experienced loss and I am always meeting new people at our Moms Nights and other events.
I remember many angels throughout the year but there are a handful of friends and family whose angel's birthdays hit a little closer to home, and hang heavy and my heart. Where I feel the emotions on a much stronger level throughout the day. Today is one of those days.
I met Amy Pope at our first Moms Night in Des Moines and we both became Ambassadors for No Foot Too Small in Des Moines. Our friendship has grown so much over the years as we share the highs and lows, grieve, celebrate, plan, share and talk with each other and other moms. Today is Grace's birthday. Grace was their first baby girl. Today I feel the sadness for Amy. Just that heaviness of the day as you think about all that should have been. Amy and her husband Chase lost another baby girl Isabelle and since then have had two miscarriages. More loss than most have endured and more than anyone should ever have to endure. Yet, they keep moving forward in their journey to have a living baby and grow their family.
This is where I am stumped. I have been meaning to post about this for awhile now and certainly welcome any advice.....I got pregnant with Izzy 7 months after we buried Liam. He wasn't even 1.5 years old when Izzy was born. When Izzy was 2.5 years old, Kylie was born. Our grief for Liam is still there but it certainly changed after bringing home a living baby. Not that any one child replaces another but our empty arms in all physical senses, were filled. As I simultaneously grieve all the hopes and dreams I had for Liam, I am living those out with my girls. Watching them grow, laughing with them, creating memories, sharing experiences.
Amy and Chas have yet to have their rainbow living baby.
I feel at a loss. At a loss of words, at a loss of encouragement and a loss of how to help and support them as they still walk the very dark road of no living children, still doing everything they can to have another baby and facing all the unknowns the future has. I can imagine grief, even many years later is much harder when you haven't experienced that rainbow. They are still in the midst of the storm. They don't have the distraction of a living baby that helps ease the grief. I want to be the best support I can for her. What I really want to to promise that it will all turn out they way everyone wants. That all their hopes and dreams will come true. I know I can't promise that but I can pray and believe for it!.
If you are someone who has experienced loss and hasn't yet brought home that rainbow baby - what are things you want people to do, to say? What is the best way friends and family have supported you in grieving your losses and perhaps the loss of the hopes and dreams you had for growing your family?
Thank you!
I remember many angels throughout the year but there are a handful of friends and family whose angel's birthdays hit a little closer to home, and hang heavy and my heart. Where I feel the emotions on a much stronger level throughout the day. Today is one of those days.
I met Amy Pope at our first Moms Night in Des Moines and we both became Ambassadors for No Foot Too Small in Des Moines. Our friendship has grown so much over the years as we share the highs and lows, grieve, celebrate, plan, share and talk with each other and other moms. Today is Grace's birthday. Grace was their first baby girl. Today I feel the sadness for Amy. Just that heaviness of the day as you think about all that should have been. Amy and her husband Chase lost another baby girl Isabelle and since then have had two miscarriages. More loss than most have endured and more than anyone should ever have to endure. Yet, they keep moving forward in their journey to have a living baby and grow their family.
This is where I am stumped. I have been meaning to post about this for awhile now and certainly welcome any advice.....I got pregnant with Izzy 7 months after we buried Liam. He wasn't even 1.5 years old when Izzy was born. When Izzy was 2.5 years old, Kylie was born. Our grief for Liam is still there but it certainly changed after bringing home a living baby. Not that any one child replaces another but our empty arms in all physical senses, were filled. As I simultaneously grieve all the hopes and dreams I had for Liam, I am living those out with my girls. Watching them grow, laughing with them, creating memories, sharing experiences.
Amy and Chas have yet to have their rainbow living baby.
I feel at a loss. At a loss of words, at a loss of encouragement and a loss of how to help and support them as they still walk the very dark road of no living children, still doing everything they can to have another baby and facing all the unknowns the future has. I can imagine grief, even many years later is much harder when you haven't experienced that rainbow. They are still in the midst of the storm. They don't have the distraction of a living baby that helps ease the grief. I want to be the best support I can for her. What I really want to to promise that it will all turn out they way everyone wants. That all their hopes and dreams will come true. I know I can't promise that but I can pray and believe for it!.
If you are someone who has experienced loss and hasn't yet brought home that rainbow baby - what are things you want people to do, to say? What is the best way friends and family have supported you in grieving your losses and perhaps the loss of the hopes and dreams you had for growing your family?
Thank you!
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