Today is Kylie's first birthday and my heart can hardly handle how quickly she is growing up. She is tiny in size but mighty in so many other amazing ways. The fact that she is my last (at least biological) baby makes milestones like this even harder to absorb.
It hit me several months ago with Kylie, that time always seems to be moving faster and faster with each passing day. I am very keenly aware each night when I lay her in bed that she will not be the same person tomorrow. She will be a day older, a day more mobile, a day taller, another day changing. I am very aware each night I lay her in bed, pray over her, and kiss her good-night that it's another day we will never get back. Time is moving so quickly that it is scary to me, scary how fast each day, month, and year go by. I watch her play with her paci in bed each night as I sing to her and watch her little feet curl up as she grabs her toes, I wonder how much longer she will curl up into that cute baby ball.
It hit me several months ago with Kylie, that time always seems to be moving faster and faster with each passing day. I am very keenly aware each night when I lay her in bed that she will not be the same person tomorrow. She will be a day older, a day more mobile, a day taller, another day changing. I am very aware each night I lay her in bed, pray over her, and kiss her good-night that it's another day we will never get back. Time is moving so quickly that it is scary to me, scary how fast each day, month, and year go by. I watch her play with her paci in bed each night as I sing to her and watch her little feet curl up as she grabs her toes, I wonder how much longer she will curl up into that cute baby ball.
Today I am aware that I don't have a baby anymore, although Kylie isn't fully mobile yet, and tiny for her age, she is for all tense and purposes a toddler now.
I am a baby person friends, I LOVE babies. Tiny babies, chubby babies, newborn babies are the best. I love the squeaks they make, the smell, the snuggles, everything. I can't believe that our baby days are over. I will never hold my own 'baby' again. Ugh, where did the time go?
Liam changed everything for me. My heart, my perspective, my view of God. I remember when I was pregnant with Izzy and talking with our pastors wife at Wave church in Virginia Beach, she asked me a very tough question when I was conveying to her my fear of loosing another baby. She asked, "If you lost this baby right now, would you still thank God for blessing you with her?" My immediate answer, and truly my answer up until recently was, "no." Why would I be happy that the Lord 'blessed' me with a baby that I only got to carry for a few months and then was taken away?
It has only been after laying Kylie down night after night, sometimes with real tears running down my face as I try to burn the image of my precious baby into my long term memory, that I can finally answer, "yes." I was praying one night over Kylie and for myself and my bitter-sweet tears of joy for my girls and sadness at how quickly time is going. Kylie blew some kisses at me and in my heart, in that moment God touched something deep inside me and I thanked him. I thanked God for blessing me with all 3 of my children and that no matter how quickly time on earth goes, not only their baby days but school years, teenage years, adulthood. I get to spend FOREVER with my babies. I get to enjoy Liam, Izzy, and Kylie forever even after our time on this earth is done, however long or brief it is. So I am thankful that God gave me three beautifully amazing children that I get to spend eternity in heaven with.
I still look at my girls each day, bitter-sweetly enjoying the here and now, and mourning each day that quickly passes by. I mourn Liam everyday and wishing he could be here to spend our earthly days with, but I know the best is yet to come. A time will come when time doesn't matter. We won't be sad at how quickly it goes because we get forever. No good-byes, no growing up, just beautiful moments spent together for eternity.
This is an incredible, beautiful gift that God has given us. I will mourn each phase of my girls life's that come and go, but I don't have to be sad because I know that although our time on this earth is brief, whether you live to be 100 or never take a breath outside of the womb, God has given us forever. So I am thankful for Liam just as much as I am thankful for living children!
I am a baby person friends, I LOVE babies. Tiny babies, chubby babies, newborn babies are the best. I love the squeaks they make, the smell, the snuggles, everything. I can't believe that our baby days are over. I will never hold my own 'baby' again. Ugh, where did the time go?
Liam changed everything for me. My heart, my perspective, my view of God. I remember when I was pregnant with Izzy and talking with our pastors wife at Wave church in Virginia Beach, she asked me a very tough question when I was conveying to her my fear of loosing another baby. She asked, "If you lost this baby right now, would you still thank God for blessing you with her?" My immediate answer, and truly my answer up until recently was, "no." Why would I be happy that the Lord 'blessed' me with a baby that I only got to carry for a few months and then was taken away?
It has only been after laying Kylie down night after night, sometimes with real tears running down my face as I try to burn the image of my precious baby into my long term memory, that I can finally answer, "yes." I was praying one night over Kylie and for myself and my bitter-sweet tears of joy for my girls and sadness at how quickly time is going. Kylie blew some kisses at me and in my heart, in that moment God touched something deep inside me and I thanked him. I thanked God for blessing me with all 3 of my children and that no matter how quickly time on earth goes, not only their baby days but school years, teenage years, adulthood. I get to spend FOREVER with my babies. I get to enjoy Liam, Izzy, and Kylie forever even after our time on this earth is done, however long or brief it is. So I am thankful that God gave me three beautifully amazing children that I get to spend eternity in heaven with.
I still look at my girls each day, bitter-sweetly enjoying the here and now, and mourning each day that quickly passes by. I mourn Liam everyday and wishing he could be here to spend our earthly days with, but I know the best is yet to come. A time will come when time doesn't matter. We won't be sad at how quickly it goes because we get forever. No good-byes, no growing up, just beautiful moments spent together for eternity.
This is an incredible, beautiful gift that God has given us. I will mourn each phase of my girls life's that come and go, but I don't have to be sad because I know that although our time on this earth is brief, whether you live to be 100 or never take a breath outside of the womb, God has given us forever. So I am thankful for Liam just as much as I am thankful for living children!
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