Reaching Out

Reaching Out:

I have had several people contact me recently regarding my help and guidence (as much as I feel I have to offer) for people they know who have lost a child. I feel like God is pressing upon my heart to start some type of online support group where people can talk and share. I feel like people's friends and family need direction on how to support a grieving loved one. 

Why do we say, "I am sorry for your loss?" Saying, "I am sorry for your loss" does nothing to help someone, it doesn't take the pain away, it doesn't make it easier, I feel like they are empty words although they come from a good place in people's hearts. 

Any why do we say, "I offer my condolences", what does that even mean to offer someone your condolences? How is this helpful except in helping the person saying it feel a little bit better because they said it. It's not their fault and truthfully, it's not very helpful. So what can we really do to help someone who is grieving the loss of a child? 

I think people need the opportunity to talk to people who have gone through it, who understand and can relate, empathize. I think people need to know they are not alone, that there are others who will walk alongside them through the journey of grief and not just through the funeral and then fade away. I think people need a support system that is in it for the long hall, through the awkward times and the sad moments, the deeply sorrow filled moments. People who aren't afraid to go to a deep dark place, who will mourn with those mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice. 

I am not going to say, "I am sorry for your loss" anymore, or "I offer my condolences." I will say, "I am sorry you have to experience this unimaginable and unspeakable pain. I am sorry that grief is going to be a forever part of your life now and I will do my best to walk alongside you and offer any help and support that I can." 

I wish I could take the pain away but the bottom line is, I can't. Nothing I say or do it going to make the pain go away, the pain will still be there but maybe we can make it a little bit easier. 

Keep an eye out for a closed facebook support group soon. A place where we can share our thoughts and feelings, ask questions, offer validation and support. Where we can talk about our babies and keep their memory alive. Where we can connect with others who are in the this club!