Trying Again-
Brad and I began trying again for another baby. It's interesting how emotions and perspectives change over the course of time. Right after Liam was born all I wanted to do was try asap for another baby. I was so saddened by his loss and not having him in my arms that that it's all I could think about.
We consulted several doctors to see when it would be physically safe for me to start trying again. I was consumed by it.
Then we got to a point where the doctors told us it was "ok", and then I wasn't sure if I was ready. I was back to the same questions in my mind as I had had when we stared trying with Liam. "Are we really ready for our lives to change"? Selfishly, "am I ready to be restricted in some ways with pregnancy again this soon"? Then even past all that, there is the huge emotional toll and all the nerves that go along side thinking about having another baby and being worried about "what if the same thing happens to the next one"?
But we got to a point where we were both ready. I even thought to myself, "If we try for a couple months and it doesn't work, we wave off until this fall. If it happens great, if not, then it will later."
We figured it was going to be nerve racking and sad now, a year from now, two years from etc. So why wait?
Now however, I am counting down the days until I can take a test. I even looked back at my "P-tracker" from when I was pregnant with Liam to see how soon symptoms like breast tenderness started. I am so excited, anxious, and nervous. I know that I will be disappointed if I am not pregnant. Ugh, so many emotional factors.
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