July 7th - 10 weeks

I am now 10 weeks along and started getting giddy excited about the thought and dream of having another baby. There are moments that terrify me, but then, I have moments like I did today where I dream of that precious time of taking the baby home from the hospital and being so excited to get home so I can take him or her our of the car seat and hold them as long as I want to. 
I started to think a couple weeks ago about photo ideas for V-day etc, then in a instant, I stop myself. Am I getting ahead of myself, counting my eggs before they are hatched? I told myself I wasn't going to let myself day dream of those things and hopefully the pain wouldn't be so great if we lost another baby. But, it's impossible to not get attached right away and start having all those day dreams, those hopes coming alive in your head. I also think that loosing another baby would be extremely difficult no matter what I do or think about. 
Brad is getting very excited about baby as well. We are both cautiously optimistic. Things really started sinking in for Brad after that first ultra sound when we heard a heart beat, knew it was a viable pregnancy, and got to see baby for the first time. I think that is the first sigh of relief and moment when you can start letting your mind look to the future. 
Things start changing for me much quicker than they do for Brad but he loves rubbing my belly and is just as excited for this new baby as he was for Liam and I am sure he will be for our future babies to come.
 
We were at the beach with friends today talking about Baby Felty #2 and my friend said something about exciting it will be to bring baby to the beach. I told them about a big tent/umbrella that Brad wants to get, which would be perfect for baby to play in the shade. I even made the comment "our baby will be a beach bum." Then I thought to myself, "That is exactly what we thought about Liam." Being 10 months old now we would have had him out in the water playing around. 
Then, those nerves set in. "What if all the hopes and dreams I have for this baby never come true"? My mom reminded me about something last week. "Do not worry about tomorrow, for today has enough cares of it's own." How true is that. All I can do is take it one day at a time. Asking God for peace, patience, grace, health, and a living baby.