Today has been sad so far, like I anticipated. Many tears already and I feel at a moments notice they could start again.
I have done well to stay off facebook for the most part today, but can't help but think about all those mothers doing I should be doing today. It breaks my heart to not have Liam here right now.
When I woke up in Liam's room today (after a migraine and needing quit) I pictured the day starting out like this:
Brad would have gotten Liam up and fed while letting me sleep in for a bit. He would have brought my little into the bedroom and set him on my belly to wake me up. I imagine Liam would have been smiling, laughing, and drooling all over me. Brad would make breakfast and we would eat together. Then Brad would have gotten Liam dressed and the diaper bag ready to give me some extra time before church.
We would have gone to church together, then picked a place outside for family pictures. We would have all color coordinated I am sure, and after Brad got some good pics of Liam and I, I would have gotten some good family ones. I imagine by then I would have gotten pretty good at using a tripod and remote to take pictures we could all be in at the same time.
Then we may have sat outside to eat somewhere or had lunch at home. Liam would have laid down for a nap and we may have dozed too. Then I am sure when Liam woke up we would have skyped with family to hello and send mother's day wishes around the country.
Then perhaps a walk on the beach and play time together before dinner. Brad would have given Liam a bath and gotten him ready for bed and we would have all read stories before tucking him in.
The hand and footprint card that Brad would have made from Liam for me would be hanging on the fridge, soon to be framed. The cards and flowers wishing me a happy mothers day would be sitting on the kitchen table and I would laying in bed reflecting on the perfect first mother's day with my 8 month old baby boy Liam.
AAAHHHH, sigh. What a glorious day that would have been.
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